aweful grief (part 6)

she remembers that dawn
they were all asleep
the streets were empty
she stood staring out of the window and cried silently

whenever she thinks of the reason she pales
her heart ages with grief
and its silent cries turn into moans
she feels the growing fire feeding on her pain
she weighs so heavy

whenever she notices what she's become
she hates herself
she feels so silly, stupid and vulnerable
she holds on to her weak sanity
she's sure; dead sure
that she wasn't on drugs

final condescension (part 5)

done with the last endeavour
done with being so eager
done with waiting for the things she waited for
done with winter shivers

this time she won't push herself
to do the things she hates
this time she won't blame herself
for disappointing everyone else

done with being so frightened
done with late nights crying
done with being the last to know
cause now she's leaving them all behind

she's not buying it
she's not trusting them..

wake her up, lift her up (part 4)

wake me up
wake me up!
she starts crying in her dreams
a shadow lingers next to her fears
she can't tell if he's an angel or a demon
but she only knows she's scared to the extremes

lift me up
lift me up!
she begs her fake illusions to become real
why does everything seem like raped dreams?
she wants to heal or disappear
but amazingly she's powerless to even scream

she thinks, that means i'm already dead
but she's learned dead people don't hurt
she thinks it again, then i'm still alive
but she notices well she's not heard

Guilty (part 3)

she made a little mistake
now she's trapped inside her nerve-racking guilty feeling's cage
the little things she must forsake
are taking so much out of her pale ever working brain

she kind of wants to turn back time
but she's learned well she can't make a wish
in a world that's built for reality lies
the only getaway is to break herself

would a sigh take the last breath out of her?
would it let it all out to burn in hell?
once again lost in her never ending questions
once again she finds no answers to tell

Breakdown (part 2)

she gave up searching
the things she's been missing
gave up her will
to find the reasons

she's been left here alone to cry,
but she only..

crashes down into one piece
frozen like a corn field
as weak as a little seed
so easy to crash down

she's been left here alone to cry
she tries
tears won't decide
it's forever locked inside
but she only..

crashes down like a statue
cracked pieces under the moon
she's stoned, so cold, so pure
like water surface hiding a world

She wishes.. (part 1)

ok so i started a new serial called 'She' and i know it's not that great but i'll post it anyway..

and as the night lays it down
all down on a lost messed up world
she sighs breathing in the blackness
turning memories into ashes inside her core

smiling at an innocent dawn
breaking down on top of the throne
silently bearing the crack of her bones
and all she can do is pretend..

playing her melody on the ticks of time
steady still firmly on their ground
it's too much to ask this time she realized
having it all is like having nothing around

why i love rock music.. =)

1. it ROCKS.. lol =D

2.deep

3.honest

4.energetic

5.fun

6.one of a kind

7.meaningful

8.i can relate to it

9.it can relate to me

10.it makes me express myself

11. oh it's so helpful when "shaving" ;P lol..

12.it makes a great 'thing in common' between me and my friends :)

THAT's real music to me..